.faith.

I am writing this because I have to get it out, I need to vent....

::WARNING:: totally random thoughts below!!

Right now my chest is pounding, searching for the right words to say.  I don't really even know where to begin. I am just so desperate right now. I need to feel like I belong somewhere. I need have a real relationship with the Lord. I am just so lost as to where to start. 

I feel like I am lost in the woods with no sense of direction.

I watched Candace Cameron Bure's testimony on her website today and it has just got my mind going even more. I guess that's the reason I can't get my mind off of it tonight. 

She talked about how she asked the Lord into her heart at 12 and to forgive him of her sins, but never really knew exactly what her sin was. It wasn't until she was married and had her first child that she really decided she wanted to know who the Lord was and have a real relationship with him. She talked about how she started reading books and attending church. She would tell her husband about what all she had learned until finally one day he told her that she was turning him off and to not talk about it anymore, if he wanted to know he would ask. She didn't say anything else to him about it. She said she went home and searched the Bible for the scripture she had remembered hearing a few times. She prayed for the Lord to show her, he did. 1 Peter 3:1. It says. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. She said that she had noticed a change in him. They were out of town and even family had noticed a difference. By then it had been about 2 years since he told her not to talk to him about the Lord. She had told him that she wanted to get baptized again and asked if he wanted to as well. He asked what it meant to be baptized and she told him, he though for a moment and said he did. The rest is history.(That was the short version.)

All of this really spoke to me. Dax and I have attended church but have never gone on a regular basis. I would try to do a devotional and then I would let other things get in the way and I would stop. I make excuses to not attend church, and I'm just so tired of it. I want my kids to know about the Lord, I want them to believe. I want them to have a personal relationship with him and have eternal life. I can't do that and not live that life myself.

Over the past few days I have been trying to talk to Rilan about Jesus. It kills me that I haven't really until now. When I don't know much myself its so hard to tell a 4.5 year old about it who ask tons of questions. I just feel like I have failed. I don't want to feel like that.......

The verse in my header is Joshua 24:15 But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. I am desperate for that to be my house.

MckMama Photoshoot

I got the photos in the mail today from our MckMama photoshoot. I am really pleased with the shots she got in such a short amount of time. Here are a few of my favorites.

I think this is my absolute favorite of them all.

I can't wait to send these to get printed! I will finally have updated photos of both kids in the house!! YAY! :)

Slow...

It has been a pretty slow week here at the Hardage Residence. We just took it easy for the most part and got to hang out with Dax's brother Davin a few times since he was here going to some classes for his job. Tuesday we went to eat at B.J.'s with him and then on Wednesday we had him and another guy, Michael, that Dax is having help out with business stuff over and I cooked turkey tacos for everyone.

Wednesday was also big for Zoey, she had her first REAL food. I went to Central Market and got some organic veggies to make her baby food. I have been researching it for a while and decided it was the way I wanted to go. I think it will also end up saving lots of money. I paid $1.50 for a pound of organic peas and just 2 jars of organic Gerber peas is $1.00. I made half a pound and it gave me 8 servings! So for $.75 I got 8 jars! Not bad! I don't think she really knew what to think of them. She didn't hate them but she didn't love them either.

I think that Daddy and Zoey were pooped when everyone left.

Have a good weekend! I am off to finish getting ready. Going to get some fabric, I got a few new patterns I can't wait to try out!

Swimming...

We had such a fun Saturday afternoon today. We went to hang out and get in some swimming at our friends Ethan and Leslie's. We had a great time hanging out with them and another couple, Scott and Kristi. Scott and Kristi have a sweet little boy, Owen, who will be 1 next month.

Dax, Leslie, and Kristi all work together so I'm sure it was nice for them to get to just hang out and not have to talk work!

Today was Zoey's first time to swim. She didn't really know what to think about it, so we only put her in for a few minutes. Rilan on the other hand turned into a little fish today. We have been swimming quite a bit but he has always been held or in a float. I ran and got him a life jacket before we went and he loved it! He didn't want to get out he was having so much fun.

Zoey's first time in the pool.

She still wasn't too sure what to think.

SPLASH!

Isn't he adorable?

Getting Daddy with a splash!

Thanks for having us over Ethan and Leslie. Rilan said we are coming back next weekend, I hope your ready! ha

Granda came to town.

::WARNING::

This is a very random post!

Last Saturday while Dax and Rilan went to watch the motocross at Freestone the girls, Granda(my mom), Zoey, and I had a girls weekend!

Dax sent me a few photos of Rilan to my phone while they were watching the races.

Here is Rilan eating some Cheetos. We laugh all the time because he hears us talking about who is sponsored by different people and he told us he is sponsored by Cheetos!

Quick nap in between races.

Bretton's bike with a Flux sticker on the front fender.

Saturday morning Zoey and I ran to Sewing World to get my sewing machine worked on and then about 30 minutes after we got home my mom arrived. We went to eat lunch then headed off to do a little shopping. I was wanting to go and buy some more fabric, I know shocker! haha Mom was wanting to go and look for some scrapbooking stuff since she has now retired from teaching after 33 years and has converted one of the bedrooms into her "scrapbooking room."

I think Zoey had fun shopping with Granda and I! 

After we got done shopping we came home and just hung out for the rest of the evening. Sunday morning we took it easy and then went to eat at Jason's Deli before the boys headed back home.

Rilan was so excited to see my mom when he got back. He couldn't stop telling us all about the race and how much fun he had. Thanks Jana, Dennis, and Bretton for letting the guys stay with yall! Rilan is already talking about going back next year! 

Mom stayed with us until Thursday then headed back home. We sure do miss you Granda!

While she was here I got to do a little sewing. I made a few little things and then I made a reversible tote bag for Zoey. I won't reverse it but I absolutely LOVE the way it turned out. I think I may try to sell some. They are much larger than they look. Prefect for a diaper bag, putting things in for travel or whatever. I love it. 

Up close of the applique.

While Granda was here Zoey ate for the first time with a spoon. I mixed the rice cereal with pear juice and she LOVED it. I couldn't believe she ate it all with not much mess! She is now up to 4 teaspoons and will start her first baby food tomorrow or Monday. I can't believe its already that time. From the way she loves her cereal I think she is going to be a much better eater than Rilan. He has always been picky and still is!

I think it looks like she didn't like it but trust me, she did! haha

Zoey had another first while Granda was here, she rolled over for the first time by herself! We all just kept watching her non stop because she had been so close to doing it and we didn't want to miss it. Dax, Rilan, Mom, and I were all in the living room staring at her laying on the floor and she would get so close then roll back to her back and try again and roll back to her back. We knew it would be long, we started talking for a few seconds then looked over at her again and she had rolled over! We missed it! :( So I rolled her back over to her back and she did it again and again! We were so happy but bummed we had given up and she did it! She only will roll to her left but she will roll from her back to her tummy and then roll back to her back and just keep going across the floor!

We got an order in from Ashley at SheShe Made this week. I could not be more pleased with the way Zoey's rompers turned out. I love love love them. When I ordered I told her I needed something for the summer that would be cool for a outdoor wedding in July. She delivered! Because I ordered 2 and absolutely love both I can't decide which one I want her to wear to the wedding now! ha

This is the other one.

Aren't they both just precious? How am I suppose to decide?! Maybe you can decide for me in my comments!

One last thing. Here is a bib I made for Khyler. I have been having so much fun making baby things. I still have a few more gifts I need to get done for friends having babies or who just had them. I will post those once I am done with them.

Okay I think I am done. Sorry for the randomness! :)

Busy!

I have been slacking in the blogging department but have been super busy having fun with my new sewing machine! 

I still have A LOT of figuring out to do but I love a new challenge. Here are a few onesie dresses I have made so far. 

I love this fabric. I am going to make a reversible bag later today with it.

This is a dress I made for Miss Khyler for the 4th and then put her initial on the butt! I think it turned out really cute!

Okay off to finish getting ready to I can run and get some more fabric for my bag! Have a good Thursday! :)